Unfiltered Toddler Mouth

Well, it has officially happened. I have tried to avoid this phenomenon for a while now, and had kind of hoped we would conveniently "skip" over it, but there is no more denying it...



No, I'm not pregnant...



Emily has developed what I like to call "Unfiltered Toddler Mouth". This is a term that can be defined by many things, not the least of which is that adorable, maddening knack that toddlers have to say exactly what is on their mind, no matter the consequences.


You know what I mean, the time in a toddler's life when that "brain filter" is not quite engaged yet. This allows a toddler to say things that other people might only just THINK about saying, but wouldn't dare utter out loud. We could also call this a BAD case of "Open Mouth, Insert Foot". In some ways, it's so refreshing to see Emily's ability to just go right out there and SAY it, without a care in the world.


...On the other hand...it can be rather embarrassing at times.


Case in point: I went to pick Emily up from preschool today, and as usual, she came running over to me and gave me a big hug. When we walked back to a group of teachers to check her out of her class, she looked at one of the teachers (who will remain nameless) and pointed to her tummy.


Almost like a movie in slow motion, I saw the whole scene play out before me like I was dreaming...let me tell you, I wish that I was. Emily continues on and blurts out the most innocent of questions, "Do you have a baby in your tummy?"

Unfortunately, there were no rocks close by for me to crawl under and no trap doors to disappear beneath. I managed a half-hearted smile...which I'm sure did not disguise the horror on my face... and said, "Oh, Emily has been saying that to EVERYONE over the last week".

Now, this is actually true, she has been pointing to me and asking that question, Nana, and every other woman in her life. She even laid out on the couch one afternoon, pooched out her own tummy, and said with dramatic flair, "Mommy, I have a baby in my tummy". However, if you were the poor stranger that she said it to, would you believe me??? I don't think so.

Luckily, the teacher was very kind, and didn't seem to take any offense to it. Still, I can't wait for the day we are in WalMart and Emily narcs out some poor person who burps or farts in line. Can you just see it now? Or maybe you have experienced this already. If so, any tips on how to disappear quickly would be GREATLY appreciated.